I don’t like my picture being taken. I get a lot of funny looks and get asked a lot about this. Growing up, I never liked being in family pictures. I think this feeling solidified when there was some event for a new Harry Potter book at the library and I wanted to go into the event. My mother told me no because they were filming something and we would have had to sign something to get permission to use footage of me. I think since that point, I had some aversion to have my image out there for the media whether it be local TV or social media.

When asked why I don’t like my picture being taken, the answer is simple. Other than the fact that I can arbitrarily not like something and that is valid by itself, I do not like the idea of my image being captured and saved. I don’t think it is anybody’s business to know what I look like at a point in time, what I was wearing, who I was wearing, what I ate, and where I was. It is up to me if I want to divulge that information. If you take a picture of me, and post it on social media, you are broadcasting all this information about me to strangers. When you post something on facebook, and your friend likes the post, that picture will show up for that friend’s contacts/followers. I find it super unsettling that those people can just peek into my life without my say so. They can see my relationships or all this personal data about me that I didn’t sanction all saved on a website that can be accessed whenever. It’s completely fine to ask about these things from me or the person I was with, but the blind broadcasting it out to people like friends and friends of friends is rude. At the end of the day, it’s probably not immoral or a crime against humanity to take someone’s picture, but I just consider it rude to assume it is OK.

With the popularization of social media, there is a new culture where it is assumed you are OK with having your picture taken. I don’t like the new normal with social media where it’s OK to assume people are OK with pictures and you take pictures at group events. You end up the buzzkill bad guy that makes things awkward because 9 people want you in the picture. It is unfortunate that it’s getting more acceptable to just film out in public. I don’t want to be in the background of some VLOG on youtube or some livestream. Legally, I don’t really have a choice, but I consider this pretty rude and self centered. What happens if something happens in the background and people single out someone in the background to make a joke or a meme? That person has no way of preventing this unless they stay home their whole life. I think the people taking the pictures should just be a little more considerate and make sure to ask if people are OK with being on camera. I understand that there is some concessions to privacy I take while going outside, however, that doesn’t mean all my privacy should be violated. Just because I’m out in public doesn’t mean that my social security number should be distributed. So, where is the line for me? I think my privacy should stop when it forces you to do something to preserve it. I can’t go somewhere and demand everyone to close their eyes so they can respect my privacy. In the same way it’s rude to ask people to needless accommodate my privacy, I think it’s rude to assume it’s OK and take action to violate someone’s privacy, even in public. It’s a matter of etiquette.

People will often bring up the fact that there are cameras everywhere in public, especially in stores. I think there is a concession to be made with CCTVs. There are things that make CCTVs tolerable. CCTVs don’t store particular information, are CLOSED, and auto-delete recordings after some period of time. I do hate those cloud security cameras though (the smart ones that send the recordings to amazon, google or wherever). I think it’s pretty gross to record someone minding their business, like your delivery people, then post that on social media. They didn’t consent to being filmed and they are just doing their jobs. You’re putting them up on social media without their knowledge or permission.

There is one exception I feel is valid which I dubbed the “Wedding Exception”. If there is a place or event where it is expected for people to take pictures, and people reasonably know about it to the point that it is public knowledge, then there is nothing I can do, say, or complain about it. The two components are for taking the picture and spreading it on social media respectively. I would still prefer my picture not be taken or posted on social media, but I don’t have a leg to stand on or argue. If it is reasonable that it is common knowledge about me, then that personal information is not private. If you go to an event of some sort and there is an expectation that pictures will be taken, you can’t really show up and be surprised when your picture is taken.

To be clear, I don’t think there is anything wrong with someone taking a picture of themselves and posting it on social media. This is only in regards to taking (unsolicited) pictures of someone else without explicit permission. I also don’t think anyone should be arrested, fined or suffer any repercussions legally¹. It’s mostly a social expectation and if people were to take pictures of me while I hung out with them without my permission, I would stop hanging out with them.

I do publish some stuff about myself when I see fit/some benefit. I made a private twitter account that has my picture, a linkedin profile that I am relatively careful and curate what I post. I have an empty instagram and facebook account. It’s not like I am against social media. If I see there’s a benefit, I will take pictures and post personal information. Additionally there is a price I’d be willing to disclose information. For example, the company I work for pays my salary and part of that is representing them. If they so choose, they could use my imagine on their company posts. Though I would appreciate them letting me know first or including it in my job description so I can make a more informed decision about my employment.